I gave birth a week early than planned, well my baby's supposed 37 week.
We were not shocked because beginning September 2021, it was already seen that he is well, small.
My OBGYN tried supplements so baby gains weight but no effect, that time I was taking Onaima.
Until we had Ultrasound/Doppler. There was notching in umbilical cord making it hard to pass oxygen and blood to baby. Also my placenta, overaged as fucked. So we had no choice to deliver him early.
We checked in Delgado Tuesday. We had our RTPCR test (me) and Rapid Test (Jose) at home , Monday night. The room is decent, more pleasing than the one we had with Franchesca. Ironic though, it was not occupied by a mom holding and feeding her son. It was just me and Jose all through out. We never did see our son in our room 112. To be able to see him is to go up the second floor in NICU to give KMC.
I cried the first time I saw him, my son. He was so little.
It was our first night together, a day after my operation (May 20). I had 15 mins max but I guess we were there for about 30 mins the nurses were generous. I held him close to my chest, I can feel his warmth and the smell of baby, tried to kiss him but was afraid that I might carry bacteria. Even if before I enter thr NICU, they made me wear lab gown, change slippers and wear hair net. Then I washed my hands and applied sterillium. I sat in a chair with boppy pillow behind me. It was surreal when the nurse handed me my little boy. I cant imagine I have a baby boy, he is so little so fragile, I cried. I said sorry, he was there and alone hindi nya kasama si nanay at tatay. I cant stand that time because of my fresh operation plus there were cords hooked to his body, hands mouth and feet :(
I was allowed to visit him every 3 hours, if only my body can manage to do it every 3 hours kaso lang I also need to rest. But made sure orning afternoon and evening andun ako especially the last night na nag stay kami that was Sunday November 21. There was a time na pinadede ko sya thats when I knew he can latch though hindi pa pala allowed, kaya I baka yun din nag contribute na bloat yung stomach nya kinabukasan. Anyway the before the last time I held him tight, I stood up kse he was fidgety gusto nya mag feed sa breast ko nag slide sya so I stood up and cradled him sung a song it took us 30-45 mins ata and he was sound as sleep kahit na yung abby across him (btw he was in incubator) was crying loud. Naka sleep ang baby ko, sa dibdib ko. Kahit na madalas nalabas boobs ko wla na din ako paki alam puro girl naman nurse. I kissed my son's head, the first time I smelled him grabe amoy baby amoy alcohol ata amoy malinis, I miss the smell. I always bring the muslin that time the one Eloise used nung pinanganak ko sya sa Delgado din. And up until now naka plastic yun hindi ko nilalaban. Kahit na hindi ko naman naipasok talaga sa loob yun kasi bawal pero same smell. I miss my baby Boy, tomorrow is another day na hindi namin sya kasama sa bahay.
Today is Dec 2, Thursday. exactly 14 days na 2 weeks without him after mg operation. The separation anxiety is real, yung prang lutang ka na in denial na there is nothing wrong and you just believe that everything will work out in God's grace. Masakit kasi isipin masisira ulo ko, kaya ipinapasa Diyos ko nlng. I want to cut the outside world and dto lang talaga mag revolve sa loob ng bahay ang buhay. Until mag okay na ang anak ko, ayaw ko maka dinig ng noise. Prayers will do. But not noise. Only God can help heal, yun ang alam ko with his wisdom and grace and blessing na ibibigay kila Dra Platon and Dra Teng to help my son heal. I have so much to be thankful for, umpisa palang kay Dra Cayabyab na nailabas namin agad si Khaled, but the battle is not yet over. My baby boy is still fighting. WBC yung lab test tomorrow I claim na healed na in Jesus Christ name Amen.
The last time I felt the last time ko na sya makaka karga kasi bawal na mag KMC kapag lumabas na sa hospital , we checked out Monday extended because we were still hoping makasama sya pauwi but failed. Sabi ko anak, galingan mo lakasan mo loob mo pray tyo kay Lord na gumaling kana para makasama mo na kami si ate si tatay ako anak. Mamimiss kita anak, bilisan mo gumaling uwi na tyo. I love you anak and then I cried kahit sinisipon ako kinisan ko ulo ng anak ko. He was sleeping then. Tumatagal kami ng 45 mins ang bait ng mga nurse lalo pag wla naman Dr sa Nicu imbes na 15 mins lang. There are so many angels on earth na hindi nila alam gaano kahalaga sa akin yun as nanay na makasama ng matagal anak ko.
Ngyon, waiting.. Tomorrow is the result ng WBC lab nya. Lord I lift to you all my worries and all the sickness Khaled Jose Benicarlo is facing make him a healthy boy oh Lord that he may praise you all through his life. Amen.
