As the year is coming to end I just want to reflect on all things good and bad in my life. Things that happened in the past months and my current situation. So speaking current situation here is a real time photo of my work at home life with two kids, luckily, I have here my papa to help out with alaga and luto and everything else.
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So I took a picture of my home office, a total chaos knowing the table also serves as jumping board for my two littles.
How am I?
I cannot put into words how overwhelming this is. To be a parent, a mother of 2, a wife, a full time IT professional (flex ko na den haha!). Like I normally dont have assist from anyone except on thurs and fri where I go to office with Eloise, mom is here to look after Khaled. But then again I still look after Eloise while working.
And Just this week, I just gave in and ask papa if he could also help me Mon to Wed haha! So to ask how am I is just unfathomable haha!
Im good, I feel alright with a little bit of anxiety here and there. At times I scream when things arent in control especially with kids but I make it up with them instantly. Saying sorry for shouting or screaming infront of the kids is not ideal , but given my situation I think it is also important to show the real side of me. How can I hide my emotions e maliit lng bahay namin haha but kidding aside I think it is also important to show your kids your raw true self so they'll learn as they grow up that mama is strong and weak at the same time. That I need to make them understand why mama did it so they would know what is wrong and right and probably (like 20% chance) of not repeating what they did wrong.
I am always thankful to God that he made this life possible, when it seems hopeless he turned it to something better that I can imagine. Though it is overwhelming, I let it all sink all these feelings and emotions knowing that they grow fast as hell I even have this wall to measure their growth each month.
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How I love mothering though it is tough, but to be with them is to realize you come to multiply and gave a whole new meaning of life. My life was never the same the moment I laid eyes to my eldest, Eloise. My life is over when I laid eyes on Khaled haha! Youthful, single life. As these years to come is about child rearing and making sure they are safe and love to the fullest.
They are here later nlng haha!
So Ayun na nga time check 4:16 in the afternoon not yet done with work doing stuff like these while enjoying my fathers company (bumili pala sya ng merienda).
Reflections so many things like how we overcame the persistent bronchiolitis ni Khaled, to almost every other month na ubo sipon and nebulizing nila. How we overcame the thought of my husband leaving for work like total horror. The realization of people who are meant to be part of your life and those who are just plain wall paper. I decided to stay out of it(having relationship with this type of people) for good because wala naman akong mapapala sa kanila puro lang toxic. And the best part is we are expecting travel this christmas and newyear with FAMBAM. SO many things happening so stay tuned.
xoxo,
mama bear
