I just finished giving meds to baby boy, done cooking goto and feeding both of them as well while working on my laptop on the side.
We woke up around 8am, by this time I'm already exhausted.
As of this writing I can hear Eloise "mama o-o si Khaled.". MOTHERING is non-stop work, physical mental emotional. It is so exhausting and I get burnout in a span of just 2 hours based on my timing.
(**hold-on will have to wash the poo.**)
While I tear his diaper pants and dispose the poop, he took the initiative to sit. To think the poop messed with the bowl while his left hand is on top of the smear is another mental load. On top of that I can hear the little girl say "mama, o-o den ako" where I haven't done 50% of his brother's business yet. If you are new to mothering (not parenting because the partner is just working and not taking care of the kids) what would you do to this kind of situation?
Wash his bum, let him stand wash his hands and change to new nappies. Flush then dispose soiled nappies. Then ask his sister, do you need to poop? You can use the loo.
This happens frequently in a day, not just once but twice and even more. Imagine just doing that on a daily basis. I do it basically auto pilot when we are nearing end of day, when I get so numb twirling around doing stuff. Like imagine I-don't-give-a-fuck-face.
(**hold on this fly since yesterday still hanging around. Really hard to kill this pesky shit. Also need to tell the kids to stop jumping in the bed for like 100th times already.**)
This is just me and it's only 10:32. I havent cook the lunch , dinner and even prepared the kids to siesta and their merienda. Not to mention the 4 to 6 times a day cleaning milk bottles cause I only got 4 sets and need to feed them on demand. Also dont forget the breastfeeding during sleeps and breaks if the baby boy needs it. See this life is rewarding because I prayed for them, to have kids but man was I informed this is so tough especially as a single mom I should have hired a katulong even before they were born so we can build trust. But not now, too late it's too risky. I can only depend on my parents when they are available. My mom on Thurs and Friday when I work in the office while I bring my eldest daughter. My dad, sometimes when I have a conference call at home but not all the time. He brings us food and help with removing trash and it's a big help. But not on a regular basis. Parents are important, they are the only once who can help, I have sisters but they have their own lives and they dont even bother so I dont mind. It's not like I need them to help me, but when time comes they need me maybe Im not available as well lol.
So I appreciate my mama a lot, she raised me with the other 2 siblings on her own with papa working abroad. It is tough pala. SUPER.
Anyway time check10:41 am kids are playing in bed room. Good thing I have to share this with you even for a short while I can breathe in and out even if it is not a quiet peace. It doesnt exist in my reality.
xoxo,
Fran
PS soa yun nga nga around 10:50 kids jumping Khaled fell off the bed.
In a span of one week siguro we went to ER twice, about 2 weeks ago. Because his eyes bled he jumps the bed and his eyes tumama sa office table so I secured it with foam na. Then yung birthday ko sa hotel tumama face sa floor he got cuts on his lips na malalim and muntik na kame mapa ER kahit I am with mama still accidents happen like these, lalo sa batang makulit.
