New Year's Eve

Dec 31, 2016

Today, New Years Eve, before the day parts with 2016 let me reminisce my life's major ups and downs.

To those days where everything seemed never ending nightmare, which is even hard to believe thats whats happening to me and it's my reality, fuck you - just want to tell you that you showed the other side of me that I wasnt aware Im capable of in the first place.

Circumstances dragged me to do things beyond my will and comfort zone. It made me feel numb, and made it look like it's my new normal. Like facing my demons, unclothing me shamelessly infront of the people I care less about. I felt like I cant even trust my own words anymore, Im like a complete trash. 

Deep down, there's a voice saying words like youre here for a greater purpose and you dont just get stuck in moments like this. And I know, even if I struggle every freaking day to follow the voice, I know what to do. Days gone by fleeting and let me tell you this I have given up so many times and tried to make days better but you know luck is not on my side which seemed like "kumunoy" the more I struggle the more I drown. There came a time when all I got is pray, pray even more, pray harder like literally begging Jesus for mercy. What do you expect, God it's all about timing right?

Now let me tell you another side of the coin, before the year ends I want to thank God for letting me go thru that tiny hole to fit in with all my might - I realized that somethings are meant to happen , things we dont feel like we deserve, things we despise, we hate we never wish or ever imagine our selves getting into but it has lessons that marks your entire being. It gives purpose on a higher level.

You may end up crying but with a fulfilled heart. That you helped the people you loved most and it's not about what can you acquire those material things there's no real happiness in there. It's by connecting, understanding and being in the shoes of people that you wouldn't even imagine exist.
Doing something to contribute and change their way of living for the greater glory of God. It's about of peace of mind and healthy heart. It's about Love - True Love.

Lord, Jesus Christ is really my savior in times when I needed him most he wont answer because - there's still more to learn. He saves me in his time, in his will that nobody can ever know or no body can ever stop. It's unstoppable. 

Thank you for all the blessing Lord, good or bad - in the end it is all about the GOOD. I now have a genuinely happy heart. THANK YOU!

xoxo,
Frances