Blank Face

 Looking back on our old photos together without(singles) and with kids, I can see a soulless individual.

With his eyes shook, blank face, empty eyes, expressionless face, no feelings whatsoever not really happy just forced smile or was it just a smirk?

I pity him, his mental state made him a sad human being just wandering on earth without purpose, always looking for short term highs.

Having been enlightened made me thank the intervention of his new supply, the girl whom I thought was a rival. But no, they really deserve each other. Knowing now how they became together, I wouldn't wish to be a hinder or in between or even a thing to them. Because, honestly, it's dirty and disgusting. I wouldn't stoop that low. I already lowered my standards for loyalty and real love, ending like a shit to a narc.

What a blessing I learned about Narc. It became easy to swallow the harsh reaility of being used and abused. But still, those 9 yrs are tough. Mentally, emotionally, financially. All the false future fantasies, lies and deceits, all his dirty laundries emerges little by little, expecting me to understand and just swallow it and make it normal is too much to bare. Finally my truth came out, the light came out. Im no longer in his shadow.

Letting go is freedom.