The Part of Me

 While listening "Neither one of us" song in Spotify I cant help but think of the memories over the years spent with the person, reflecting the person I want to be (as a partner).

I lost the person, I lost the part of me that I love. The one who mirrored me, the imagination, the fantasies all faded away like dust in the wind.

Now it's "Killing me softly with his Song"... Ha!

I find myself aging gracefully. Mature enough not to settle for less, not to cave in to lust and short term happiness and moving away from things that doesnt server me.

Looking back, I view breakups like it is end of the world. Nothing important in life to lose. 

I was manic always down and slump on the bed crying all day, all night. Now, I sleep like a baby, eat mindfully, choosing or buying things mindfully. Way back I spent money for something I dont even need, believed it like therapy, like I need to give in to urge and splurge. 

This is a game changer. As I age, mature and experience and learn a lot from the past I begin to see myself more clearly. Who am I? What do I really like? What type person do I NEED to settle? What should I take and what should i let go? What to forgive and whats non negotiable. To give in to my natural and authentic self without being apologetic. By showing everyone my truth, with all my heart.

And then I realize, there is no more time playing around like stupid hen with worm hooked on stick wrapped around its waist. Yes it was me. I want to define my own self, to write my story. It doesnt end like this, nah. I am Frances. I can do whatever I want to do in this wonderful, beautiful life the Lord has given me. No more holding back, no more consideration to people who makes me feel unseen, unheard, misunderstood, mistreated, insecure, unlove, unimportant, irrelevant, an option and disrespected. No place for those people, please! I know I have a heart of gold that keeps on forgiving even the unforgivable. But again I dont want it to block whats for me, the gift of life. Nothing like these nonsense can go my way now. :) My time is up with these blood suckers haha!

NO time to waste, already spent a lot of time looking in wrong places and engaging in wrong people.

I believe I can carry on much stronger than ever. And be much happier with me, myself and I only (with my babies Eloise and Khaled ofcourse).