To my children Eloise and Khaled this is mama's testament of TRUE and EVERLASTING LOVE to both of you.
Today is January 11, 2025. A lot has happened and scarred the three of us for the past few days. The turn of events took place when your "bachi" went home for a vacation last December 22,2024 until he left us for good just this past week, January 3, 2025 when he chose to go back to Macau rather than resolve our family matters here in the Philippines. I ended it, yes, after the revelations I found out about him.
I wont delve on the past 9 years being with your "bachi" because you were not yet there and I want to spare you of the traumas that he has caused me, your mother.
When he came back last Dec 22, my concern is you (Eloise and Khaled) how will our relationship as couple can impact our day to day activities licing with him on the same roof, but now different persons. I know for a fact that he "was" living-in with a 27 yrs old girl in Macau but was believed it was over. As a woman with brain, nothing is ever true when it comes to a pathological liar as your "bachi".
The girl called me together with her mother in Macau, that your "bachi" and her are still living in together. We had a chat about him having case in Macau, buying/selling karts, has a lot of scams and all the shit going on.
There is a proof and a strong evidence since I asked him his phone password, he gave it to me but would not hand me his phone. I told him if you dont hide anything, you will give it to me. If you are in my place, im in a fight or flight mode already. Having to find a sense out of it to come up with a productive asnwer to this rabbit hole and endless downward spiral kind of life.
Tried to figure out things how it turned that way, tried to find answers that seemed blurred the more I talked to him. To find a conclusion and best possible answer on how to go about the chaos he continuously brings in our family. Which I later found out could never have any answer due to his clinical sickness - "bachi" is a narcissist.
After all the breakdowns and wars, he slept like a baby between you (Eloise and Khaled) on the bed, that was January 2, 2025. I dont understand it at first, my naive and normal working brain cells cannot grasp how a grown ass man can sleep like a baby amidst chaos. Like literally the family and the life he built in Macau crumbling into ruins. He is a narcissist. No love, no remorse, just full of lies, manipulation and being a "supply" to his fantasies.
I've come to terms, using my last working braincells, that I your mother was manipulated to that extent.
9 years I kept mum and quiet - staying vigilant that it could be any day someone somewhere might come out to taint our "fantasied" relationship. Tried to accept whatever brain damage he might cause me. Trying to make sense of all the things he did, to cover it and normalize it. I was once an enabler.
He feeds on me, I feed on his possessiveness. Not accepting the fact that he is just using me for his image and financial advantage.
Having to love unconditionally, being loyal, honest, respectful and supportive to your "bachi" is never enough. Instead he weaponized it and use as weakness to exploit me, your mother. One time we had and argument I told him"nang gamit ka lang" then he answered while walking away from me "Anong kailangan ko sa iyo?" (the audacity) which means now he has nothing to do with me, he doesnt need me anymore. Which totally make sense because now he has new supply, the other girl in Macau. Because his pea brain can only understand what narc does. There is no defending the relationship, no amount of forgiveness can change him, no amount of explanation can cut thru his sinister plans all he is is selfish, nothing is resolved even if I engage to endless conversation with no clear answers and solutions, there is nothing personal to him this is all about game. He made me believe all the false future, moving to Canada having a good life. It all ended with he will still send us (Eloise, Khaled and me) to Canada to have a good life. When he is the one who aspire that, he is simply discarding. He wants to let loose of me your mother who was once his prey and "supply". He has no remorse, it's all about the lying even the most minute, trivial and nonsense thing he needed to lie. Because that's who is. We cant comprehend his trail of thoughts because he is clinically diagnosed Narc.
Before he closed the door to catch his flight on Jan 3, he asked me "can I hug for the last time? I might not be alive the next time we see."
I refused; this time it's my call. No more faking, and gagging my true self, no more manipulation, no more forgiveness when all there is in his mouth is web of lies.
Remember that night when I contemplate, and before he slept seemingly free of problems, I asked him Macau or us (Eloise, Khaled and me) - HE CHOSE TO LEAVE TO MACAU. HE NEVER CHOSE US. He needs Macau for his new supply, the girl, the living the life with all his web of lies and fantasies coming now to reality. He can never risk that. Not for you.
I need you to understand where this is coming from anak, Eloise, Khaled.
It is not about you, not about me your mama - it is about him. It is all about him in the first place. He is a narcissist. You need to educate yourself to detach your emotion and finally understand that monster we are dealing with.
On the side note: Infact he was trying to save his insane uncle, that old man doesnt know anyting about the relationship, he said - where infact that uncle was supposed to live under our ancestral home with my father your lolo because he has no family left in PH. The old man is actually an enabler, he knew "bachi" has other girl in Macau - he was even "their" photographer in "Londoner Macau" funny but yeah. Your bachi and the girl have been together for more than a year. One month after "bachi" flew to Macau, he flirted and made sure he live with the girl on their apartment free off charge, of sex and food. He manipulates even the mother of the girl to the extent they tolerate his wrong doings. He kept mum of their relationship acted like he still have a family at home, with us. He call her other girl 'bobo' in some chat I found on his phone.
Apparently Princess the waitress, was a common friend of the other girl. Your bachi confided with Princess that the other girl is bobo for wanting him to choose her even for only 3 months together. Oh and by the way they worked together on the same resto now closed "HEAL". Funny how the HEAL cannot heal the curse of "bachi" and all the demons lurking in their store. The "curse" / "malas" is your bachi and all the enablers working in their kitchen. The one he replaced had suddenly died of apparent suicide by crashing the motor cycle in PH while he was kicked out of HEAL means no more work, because of I believe your "bachi" wanted him out as he advised the owner.
Bachi is EVIL. With all my heart and as your protective mother, I will harness all my power to move you away from your sinister bachi. I know he will use you as an intrument when you grow old, to make you resent all the things you love. Just like what he did to your mama.
We will always pray for our soul, with this evil always preying on us.
Remember, research about "NARCISSISM" that's the only way you can get away with your emotions where it's not reciprocated and anderstood, where you can depend on the facts and proven reason to all of this fiasco. He is a clown, he can never love us because he is a SICK PERSON, he is a NARCISSIST.
All I can say is sorry, for choosing the WRONG bachi for you.
I will stay vigilant to protect you against him. I promise.
I love you, forever and always.
Love,
Mom
