You have to remind yourself that you're not going to live forever, so don't be hard on yourself.
If it comes to you, it's for you. If it doesn't come to you, after all the efforts you put into it then it's not meant to be. So learn to let things be. Don't push it.
Try again next time, know that the in time you might find it. It might take time for you to realize as you grow wiser, but it will come to you in due time.