Today I am extra nervous, with the work piling up and everyone from the project needed me to do something about their own issues. No ticket, no prioritization but all escalation with seemingly all are equally important.
To think that I need to answer them all at the same time is exhausting. If one is not answered right away, they will escalate to my manager, who is by the way always on their side. I mean I get it we need to face all the challenges and we have to own it, we have to be reliable in helping our counterparts and ofcourse our client. But to think that these people are internal employees too, that are just pushing me to do it for them and my manager doesnt even know what we are doing(she knows by repeatedly asking) but not appreciating it is painful. You know the feeling that the manager swears by the counterpart not you? Who will fight against you? Who will make you look stupid while she get away of her stupidity just because she is a manager and a non technical person (but alots a lot of time questioning even the little bit of details like indentation, codes etc which are time consuming and inefficient?) I wonder how and why she got her award.. Hmm..
I am tired. I am fed up. God knows how I love working with SharePoint, especially enjoyed SP install and configure. But I want to have confidence. I'm loosing it slowly and terribly. I think I'm loosing my self confidence because my manager doesnt trust us. She has trust issues.
Way before me was 3 employees I believe, who all went in hell with her. They all slowly disappeared and just resigned. I undertstand given how vile the manager is, super micromanage like you have no room for growth because everything is blocked, questioned, degraded, negated, manipulated and unacceptable in her eyes. That's not a challenge for us, dont get me wrong. I have been with so many manager in my 12 years of work but never have I encountered such a menace. No one has ever raised a voice on me, just you. I never trusted you with my work eitherway. So the feeling is mutual, I dont trust you with my career, you are slowly destroying what I built for 12 years with your mediocracy. Whatever you say, that's your opinion it doesnt define me or the first 3 SP Admin/ SP Developers. They are doing fine in their work, we are doing fine until you messed it up. I just pray to God that you already take your senior citizenship and just retire, youre not effective to people. Maybe to your manager, but not us NO.
You make me sick, my anxiety was triggered because of you. I had cold chills I drag myself in the morning to work cause I know it will be you calling on the phone mercilessly deliver your litany. Who does that? Very naive and unprofessional in "GLOBAL COMPANY" setup. Very cultured Filipino politics type of employee, very much so - you are the epitome of bulok na sistema.
Im just, frustrated how you treat us. My heart is heavy. I pray to God that today is it. This is it.
I cannot work with you anymore. My heart and soul says so, I can hear it pounding. Saying STOP.
I feel caged and helpless. Waiting my life to change once and for all. God Please, HELP ME.
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